I have never been in prison..

At the moment I feel that I am locked in behind bars and someone else have the power to control you and your destiny. You live in stress, panic and fear that someone who doesn’t even know you can decide to take away everything that you ever have built up. You are afraid to loose the most precious thing that you have ever had in the whole world, someone can just take it away from you for no reason at all, they don’t believe in it the same way you do.

You are waiting, don’t know which day or even if the doors that are blocking you from your freedom will open up and release you. You are waiting for that day, but you don’t know when. Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be this week, this month, this year? No one talks to you, no one let you know, no one contacts you. You are on your own, waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

You make plans but the plans get broken, someone destroys them and block you from making them or even have dreams for the future with your most precious thing in the world, because you don’t know when or if someone will take it away from you. You are too scared, every day that passes you struggle to sleep, eat and even breathe. You know you are innocent, but they don’t see it that way. You need to give more, you are empty, you have given all you have. Where will you find more to give? Just because someone else say so, someone else don’t trust you, someone else don’t believe that it is real, someone else deny it. And you are alone again. All locked up, and it’s quiet. No sounds.

You are back to square one again. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

You are waiting for something to happen that will release this pain, this stress, this panic and throw it all away so that you can breathe again. All you want to do is to breathe again. But you don’t know when this day will come or even if it will...

No dreams can be dreamed, no future is secured, no life is being lived. Fear, tears, stress, panic takes over your life and you even questioning if you are really worth it?

Maybe you should just end everything now, instead of dragging your precious thing with you down and let someone else take you down, down to the bottom you go, behind the opposite bars as your most precious thing in the whole world. You feel the hand grips loosen. Someone else took it all away, no reason, no time. Just took it all away. You have disappeared, you don’t exist anymore, you are all gone. Someone else decided for you, someone else choose your destiny, someone else took your life.